7.16 She’s Married you Old Bat!

Hello everyone! Long time no see. I’m sad to admit that no chapters were posted in 2023.

I have a huge backlog of chapters, as I’m writing this our Gen 9 heir is a young adult.

So, lets try to get through some of these years old screenshots!        

The family picked up and moved to Riverview!

Alonso: As long as my true love is there, its home.

Well, you might have forgotten but Rhyan died last chapter.

Alonso: Not Rhyan, Sheila!

Of course, how could I be so silly.

And Lilibet is still a bit demon looking! Some things never change.

Diago: And you built me a new greenhouse? You really do love me.

Melisa is working on her next book as Lilibet lays lifeless on the floor.

Melisa: Should have moved us away from the forest witches sooner. Now they’ve corrupted my first born.

Alonso: And that’s why you should invest in Bitcoin!

A few years late on that, I think. Plus, the Newbies don’t have much in the way of investing.

Diago: Its my birthday?

That’s right, after 16(!!!) chapters as a young adult, you are finally aging!

Melisa: Boo! Oldie!

Alonso: You’re next, dummy!

Diago: See you on the other side Sheila!

Should I be concerned that she’s looking at you like that?    

Diago: It’s me, but with a beard!

Melisa: Upgrade!

Melisa: I think I’ll wish for a cool beard too!

Melisa: Dang it! Maybe next time!

Diago: Maybe I’ll take up painting?

Melisa: And I’ve decided to become permeable!

Ah yes, the mid-life crisis! Have fun with that, you two.

What happened to painting?

Diago: The greenhouse calls me. Like an enchantress, its beautiful vines reach out to me.

Poetic.

When in crisis, MAKEOVER!

Diago: Mostly the hair I think.

Stylist: Sure, the hair.

Diago: Oh GAWD! What have you done? You didn’t even touch the hair!

Honestly thank God for that.

Stylist: Money now?

Melisa: This looks like shit.

Stylist: *SOBS* Please ma’am, it’s my first day

Well, their makeovers fit in for the town of Riverview.

And apparently it was good enough for a quick woohoo at the movie theater.

Random: Next time, keep your private life private! We’re just trying to enjoy the movie, you creep!

Diago: Creep? Usually women love me!

Not in that outfit.

With no luck online, Alonso goes on the prowl, his hunting ground? His neighbor’s house.

Alonso: You are just beautiful, like the Mona Lisa.

Fatima: Who are you?

These two lovebirds are getting some.

And this love… bird? Is wishing he had some.

He didn’t have to wait long. After making out with her husband, Fatima decided to change into lingerie and flirt with her visitor.

Alonso: Jackpot!

Sheila: I compel you to wake up and give me cookies!

Melisa: *Mumbles* Cookies…

Sheila: And fetch!

Melisa: Sheila, can you stop staring at me while I’m sleeping? Its creepy.

That little face? How could that be creepy?

And as usual, Sheila got her wish.

Diago: Can you guys do this somewhere else? You’re ruining my nighttime routine.

You can tell the crisis isn’t over because of the crazy ass car now parked in front of the house.

Sheila: Oh God, not another one!

Melisa: No Sheila, I’m not dead! I’m pretending! Your turn!

Sheila: What the hell? Sims are weird.

Agreed. I would much rather be a pixel dog then a pixel person. Much easier life.

Melisa: What about for a cookie?

Sheila: X-X

Melisa: Yay! Good girl!

See, easy life.

And just like that, the second Gen 8 child is on the way!

Melisa: Thanks to that theater, woohoo! The kids going to be a director!

Melisa: I’m pregnant! Conceived in the local theater!

Alonso: Wow, a movie critic in the making!

Merisa: Babe, I have something to tell you.

Diago: Finally, rain! My poor plants were suffering!

Melisa: Are you even listening? I’m going to a massage after this.

Melisa: Forget the stupid plants for a second-

Diago: Stupid?! I raised them on my own! There doing the best they can with a single father!

Melisa: God help me. Well, your time with them is going to take another cut, because I’m pregnant.

Diago: OMG!

Diago: Well don’t worry about the plants! I can just lay the baby right there beside of them while I work! Babies love the cold, hard ground!

Movie critic? This baby is going to be a plant sim due to pollen inhalation.

Fatima: I know its wrong, but I just can’t stop thinking about you.

Fatima: You’re in my head like so tentacle monster!

Alonso: I like to think of myself more like a perfectly baked cake then the kraken.

Fatima: Yea, okay. Maybe that too.

Alonso: So, you want to get it on in the movie theater?

Fatima: Feisty, where did you get that idea?

I’m not sure if the firefighter lingering around is Rhyan sending her well wishes… Or haunting Alonso from the afterlife.

Knowing her, probably the latter.

Could you be any more obvious with the wedding ring?

Fatima has no shame! What if your husband sees?

Alonso: I might be old, but I could still take him.

Diago: Listen dad, I know it’s your business and all, but should you really be bringing a married woman to your granddaughter’s birthday?

Alonso: Well geez Diago, she’s too young to know! Lighten up!

Diago: I see why mom was always so grouchy.

That started way before she met Alonso.

Alonso: Alright everyone, gather around for the witch babies birthday! Don’t worry Diago, I made Fatima wait outside.

Melisa: Oh my GAWD Alonso, isn’t that her daughter right there?

Betty: Don’t worry, I’m used to it.

Alonso: Moob to the face! Happy birthday blondie!

And Sheila outside struggling to swim through the ground! Go Sheila, always the overachiever!

Lilibet Lemons, looking a lot less demon-y and more cutey!

Alonso stuck to his word and kept his side piece outside hogging all of the guests.

Melisa: She looks just like me! Seriously did the witches clone me and stick me into this tiny body? It’s almost creepy.

Random guy: So congratulations on your baby-

Diago: Sorry, I can’t focus on you due to my STIINKY ADULTORESS FATHER!

Alonso: Oh, don’t mind us!

Jesus what the hell is going on there.

Little girl: Help. Me.

Betty: Gawd mom, keep it in your pants!

Diago: I’m FREAKING OUT! PARTY RUINED! Why can’t I throw a GOOD PARTY!!! It’s the curse isn’t it! It never really went away! I’m cursed forever to be a loser who throws awful parties!

Random guy: Well don’t take it out on ME! I didn’t get you bitten by a mummy you stupid block head!

Turns out someone is enjoying the party. In Alonso’s bed.

Diago: Oh geez, I spent enough time in university!

And I’m not even going to insinuate what was happening in here.

Alonso: You can imagine.

Our first chapter back and it’s filled with complete and utter debauchery. Fitting.

Thanks for reading everyone! Happy New Year!