Hey friends, welcome back! Last chapter Diago went to France and messed with half the population.
And came home with all of these useless wines.
Rhyan: The damn place is falling apart already.
We’ve only been here for a week!
Rhyan: My point exactly.
Rhyan: Evacuate!
Mandy: AH! FIRE!
Rhyan: Lady, you can leave now. I put all the fires out.
Mandy: AHHH!
Rhyan: Holy shit, are you stupid?
Mandy: I can’t go down there! The house is on fire!
Rhyan: I- never mind. I’m going home.
Date night!
Melisa: I read a book about the town this wine originated in.
Diago: Very nice honey.
Everyone in town is pregnant and glitching through their CC clothes.
Man: My perfect wife would NEVER glitch through clothes!
Who eats pizza like that? Her fingers are literally on top of the pizza.
Melisa: Got to get some marinara sauce on there to lick off later.
Melisa: *Licks fingers* that’s a nice melody.
Pianist: This ones for you baby!
Everyone in this town is either pregnant or looking to be that way.
After eating dinner our lovely couple headed over to the club next door.
Diago: Can you pan over for a second?
Sure.
Heh, pan over. What an idiot.
Melisa: This place is as empty as your head.
Diago: If you don’t shut up I’m going to slap you with this pool queue.
Melisa: You’re not going to be able to come back from this one.
If you beat him I might have to send you to a hotel for the night… for your own safety.
Melisa: Shit closing time already?
Diago: I was tired anyways.
Melisa: Tired of getting your insides rearranged by my big-
Diago: *YAAAAWWNNN*
Alonso: My turn.
Rhyan: I don’t think so Mr.Stay-at-Home Dad. Take your lazy ass somewhere else.
Speaking of stay-at-home’s, what are you up to?
Diago: Relaxing in the pool.
Hmm, that’s a weird lighting glitch.
Rhyan: So… you made it off the rooftop of that burning building.
Don’t antagonize the poor woman. She’s obviously missing some important code.
Lucy: Where’s the pool at?
Remy: Where pools are usually located. Or at least that would be my guess.
Lucy: *Confused look*
Will you guys stop messing with Melisa’s family? I’m pretty sure they’re all absent-minded.
Trenton: Nice to see you here son.
Nick: We drove here together dad…
My point has been proven.
Alaric: I would love to come in but I’m a little embarrassed with this hair.
Alaric: Hello sister.
Remy: Hey cheerleader. What did you do with your pigtails?
Alaric: Shu-shut up!
Pretty much everyone found their way to the pool. Except for Melisa. She decided to spend the hottest day of the year indoors drinking mocha.
Melisa: We all have our preferences.
Diago: *Flexes entire body* Nice to meet you sir.
Trenton: Nice to meet you, sonny. *Almost breaks Diago’s wrist*
Rhyan: PLEASE stop telling Alexa to play The Chainsmokers. No adult likes that band. Grow up.
As you can see, age has really mellowed Rhyan out.
Melisa: So.. a party. Pretty cool right?
Christine: Shouldn’t you be outside with the rest of the adults?
Alonso: Mi famiglia! You girls have fun!
Melisa: See? It’s totally socially acceptable.
Christine: Wanna play tag?
Christine and Trinity are Remy’s daughters. Christine is the only kid to inherit Harry’s crazy hair color.
Alonso: This is MY lounger!
Trinity: Seriously uncle Alonso? There’s another one right beside of me.
Melisa should have taken a note from Sheila’s book and hung out upstairs away from the family.
Of course, if she had done that she would have missed out on this.
Mindy: I just wanted to let you know that I’m your number one fan.
Diago: WHAT the HELL did I just hear.
Alonso: Uh, no thanks. I already have a biggest fan. Her name is Sheila.
Trinity: If auntie Rhyan will yell at someone for playing Chainsmokers what do you think is going to happen to someone who flirts with her husband?
Mindy: What about second biggest fan?
Alonso: That’s my wife, DUH!
Rhyan: This woman is about to lose her last brain cells.
Rhyan: I should have let you die in that house fire.
Rhyan: Do you think just because my arms are the size of green beans I can’t knock you out?
Mindy: You’re OLD. I just thought he would be interested in someone without all the grey hairs.
Rhyan: He’s old too you blonde dimwit, he just DYES HIS HAIR BECAUSE HE’S INCREDIBLY VAIN.
Alonso: Cheers to that my love.
Rhyan: You know what? You’re lucky that I like your daughter. Goodbye.
Mindy: You can’t just say goodbye and expect me to leave.
Alonso: That’s what someone who doesn’t understand their own code would say.
What a disaster, am I right?
Diago: A total dumpster fire. Melisa’s dad almost broke my arm and her mom hit on my dad right in front of my homicidal mother. Can’t wait until they’re family.
Melisa and Nick totally ignored their mother’s antics. Apparently they don’t mind Lealani’s taste in music.
Melisa: Who locked this gate? Unlock it immediately!
This is probably why it was locked.
Melisa: Why? Because Diago doesn’t want anyone to have fun?
No, because he doesn’t want you trampling the plants.
Melisa: Haha! Got butt-water on your plants!
Diago: *Sighs*
Butt-water on the plants and doggie pee on the shed floor.
Sheila: Whoopsie?
And this is where we’re leaving off. What did we accomplish? Nothing. Let’s not dwell on it.
Life's Lemons 