5.4 Missing Eyebrow Squad

wElCoMe fRiEnDs! Last time Willow got her boyfriend, Harry, to join her cult! Yay!

Sarah: Since you’re new to the family, I’ll show you some pictures to update you. This kid here is my grandson Maximus. His mother is a really freaky fairy. And this little guy in the blue blanket is my newest grandson, Shelby. I don’t know why they named him that, it’s a terrible name. But he is very cute.

Harry: Do you see what time it is? Can I get some sleep before my introduction into cult life?

Sarah: Cult life? And you don’t have on a watch, idiot.

Harry: It’s a figure of… impressions…

Harry followed this encounter by sleeping in his brand new, shiny bedroom. I guess he was serious about needing to sleep.

Gnome: You might want to find another house to observe, lady. This one is definitely not a good statistical mean for sims households.

Alien: A talking gnome. Interesting.

Gnome: I warned you.

Sarah: A real alien! You must be here to give me my latest promotion! I am ready to take on the responsibility of being Emperor of Evil.

Alien: Insane! They’re insane!

Gnome: I WARNED YOU.

Sarah: Damnit.

Harry: Is that a ghost? What the hell?

Dirk: If you’re going to live here, you better get used to it.

Harry: I didn’t know they were into Grim worshiping!

Link: How’s the legacy going, kiddo?

Willow: Well, there are waffles to eat and a table to eat them on. So it could be worse.

Willow: Don’t be offended dad, but I want this pic for my instagram.

Link: No, no offense. It’s not weird taking pictures of your deceased father.

Harry: Do you guys have dragons?

Waylon: What?

Harry: Dragons. Since your working for the Reaper I thought he would give you something in return.

Waylon: We’re working for who?? What are you talking about? You’ve been spending too much time with mom and Willow.

Dirk: Is the boy right? Are you guys trying to sacrifice us all to Grim?

Willow: Uh, I’m not trying to do that. Mom?

Sarah: Nope. Never crossed my mind. Now that it has, though-

Hey you two, FIRE!

Sarah: Stop spraying my ass and spray the fire!

Willow: You know I have bad eyesight!

Something tells me that has more to do with your 2009 Justin Bieber haircut, and less about your actual eyes.

Waylon: That was a good one.

Willow: Shut up or next time I wont put out the fire.

Oh no, don’t do that! Your poor old mother will have a heart attack!

Waylon: YOU’RE GOING TO DIE BEFORE YOU GET PROMOTED!

Sarah: *GASP* How dare you! That alien is going to come back and give me my promotion any day now.

 

Dirk: OMG you’re so senile! Aliens? Whaaaat?

YOU’RE LITERALLY 20 DAYS PAST YOUR DUE DATE. YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T TALK SHIT BUDDY.

Sarah: You really are trying to kill me, aren’t you?

Waylon: Of course not!

Harry: She won’t be mad will she?

Sarah: Uhhh, probably not?

Oh geez. The missing eyebrow squad strikes streaks again.

Harry: Killed? This is harmless cult fun!

Willow really dug herself into a hole with the cult idea.

Since Waylon grew up, I checked on Lisa and realized she was glitched and way past her age up time. So I decided to throw her a party!

ARGH! Don’t open your eyes!

What the HELL? Her eyelids are melting???

As you can see, the damage wasn’t totally fixable, but it’s much better than it was. Also, this isn’t the hair I gave her when I edited her. I’m not sure what happened.

Immediately after the party, Willow cued up to go back to work…

To take a picture of her recently aged up brother.

Willow: Now your terrible mid-life choice is going to be on facebook forever, lolz.

Zack: The pony tail is coming back, mark my words.

I don’ think she can comment on other people’s fashion choices when her boyfriend has a wanky ass porn stache.

Dirk: Can you leave me to die in peace?

Seriously?

Willow: What? I’m hungry.

Grim: You’re finally dying?

Dirk: Better late than never.

Sarah: Please take his ass out of here. I’m tired of looking at his bald head.

Lisa: Oh my god, is your uncle dying?

Willow: NO, he’s just pretending to be dead.

Waylon: This is so awful.

Willow: Yea, I can’t believe he didn’t make me dinner first.

Dirk died 20 days after his due date, reached his LTW out of the legacy house, and had two kids which he never saw before his death after the move. Lol, oops!

Willow: How are you enjoying your stay so far?

Harry: I’ve seen more ghosts this week than a ghost hunter sees their entire lifetime. So I guess good?

This is the skinniest, twig ass couple I have ever seen.

Sarah: We didn’t even get Dirk to take down the Halloween decorations before he died.

STOP CRYING! You got promoted!

That’s right, folks. Sarah got to level 10 of the criminal career. That’s after already completing her LTW. She’s pretty much the coolest.

Willow: Thanks for the promotion mom!

Sarah: I didn’t promote you, but whatever.

Now that Sarah’s is Emperor of Evil, she gets to ride around in this totally inconspicuous limo.

Oh yea, one of her vampiric co-workers invited her over. But when she got there he was sleeping. That’s a mood.

Sarah: What’s this room for, then?

I don’t think you’re supposed to be in there.

EEEWWW! Why did they make vampires in this game so ugly? I like my vampires to be beautiful, thank you very much.

THERE WE GO. That is so much better.

Wogan: Do you like the artwork in my apartment? It’s all stolen.

Sarah: He’s a piece of art work. Can I make so moves orrrr…

Oh gosh. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, considering his wife is also a vampire…

Sarah: Did you hear about my recent promotion? I pretty much own this city now.

Maybe you should leave. I’m not sure you should stick around a hungry vampire.

I just happened to be peeking around the neighborhood when I saw Zack and Max inconspicuously standing outside their house. He aged up! I think he’s pretty cute. I’m pretty sure the lacking chin is Sarah’s, it just translates bad to males.

Harry: I love you.

Willow: It’s hard to be into it when your eyebrows look so weird.

Harry: It’s the water! It scorches off my beautiful, thick brows of glory!

Harry: Are you going to roast your butt all night, or do you think you might roast one of these marshmallows?

Willow: I’m still deciding.

Harry: Are you serious right now? Are you SERIOUSLY going to eat that lemon whole after roasting it over a fire?

Willow: It makes it easier to digest!

Harry: *Angerly eats marshmallow*

If you’re wondering why one of the heir/mate gravestones are small, it’s because the family tree somehow got broken in the move. I noticed when Tammi spawned and heart-farted Waylon (EW). To fix it, I had to bring them to life and kill them again, yada yada, and when I did for some reason Tammi’s LTW didn’t translate. It’s annoying but I’m not bothered enough to fix it yet.

Harry: This is a great date.

HEY, DUMB RED HEAD. Get out of that chair!

Willow: Well, it wouldn’t be a date if it didn’t start raining.

Harry: You can’t see any stars with all of this light pollution.

Willow: Just pretend.

Sarah: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH OUT MAID?? YOU’RE NOT GEORGIO!

Sarah might actually be going senile now.

Instead of a romantic getaway, Willow gets a romantic late-night trip to the river. Pretty much the same thing.

It’s your unlucky day, paparazzi lady. You’re ruining my scenery, so you’re getting deleted.

Harry: Did you just notice that woman disappear?

Willow: What woman?

Harry: The lady that was standing there-

Willow: Where?

Willow: I have something to ask you, so stop talking about some other woman before I step on your toes with my heels.

Harry: What is it?

Harry: If there’s a lemon in that box I swear to the Watcher-

Willow: It’s not a lemon, baby.

Harry: *GASP*

Harry: I didn’t know cult leaders got married! I thought they were polygamous!

Willow: Not this cult leader! So you accept?

 

Harry: OMG! It’s so shiny!

That’s where all of your donated money went.

 

Another chapter down! I hope you guys enjoyed the scenery in this chapter. I took a lot of useless pictures just because they looked nice. Be prepared, because next chapter is a WEDDING chapter. I know, I swore I wasn’t going to throw one. Well, I did it anyways. I can’t help it! Hope you enjoyed!