Hey friends, how are you doin.
Diago: It’s not that I don’t want to see Melisa, but I really want pasta.
I wont lie to you buddy, this doesn’t look like the place to go for pasta.
Melisa: What are you over there thinking about?
Diago: Just you, cutie.
LIAR.
Melisa: Spaghetti at a beach side bar?
Melisa: I guess I’ll give it a try.
Diago: I wont lie, this is pretty disgusting. But it scratched an itch, ya know.
A guy can’t catch a break around here. You step out of the house for 2 seconds and the entire place is filled with paps and zombies.
They still seemed to have a good time, even with the date crashing.
The worst offender of all wasn’t the zombies, or even the photo curious paps, but Diago’s own father-stealing aunt.
Alannis: That was forever ago. When are you going to get over that.
Melisa: Oh no! A zombie! I’m terrified! Shaking in my boots!
Zombie: Braaaains.
Melisa: I think she’s lunging! Are these my last breaths?
Zombie: Are you… mocking me?
Melisa: If you really think you can eat me, you’re seriously deranged. Even for a stupid zombie.
Melisa: Now get out of here before I laugh myself into a coma.
Zombie: But I’m starving!
Melisa: Unless you’re hungry for shitty pasta, I would look elsewhere.
Diago: She’s tough.
Tough as nails. Now lets get out of here before the zombie apocalypse gets worse.
The automatic sprinkler is Sheila’s favorite toy in the house.
Alonso: I quit my job today.
Well good for you.
Alonso: I became a resident at the hospital instead.
I suppose the resume said “Must have Ph.D unless you work at the local police station”
Alonso: They even let me keep the cruiser!
How considerate of them.
Melisa: Excuse me sir-
Alonso: Another one? Go take pictures of someone else, I’m busy.
Melisa: Pictures? I’m just here to see my boyfriend.
Alonso: Did you just say boyfriend??
Melisa: Yea! Is Diago here?
Alonso: I guess here’s here somewhere.
You’re very helpful.
Alonso: So, I’m actually a doctor now.
Melisa: Oh! Diago told me you were a cop!
Alonso: I was, yesterday. But I decided it was time to change career paths.
Melisa: You can just… do that? Don’t you need certification for that type of thing?
Alonso: All you need is to be a certified genius. I just thought I would let you know what type of gene pool Diago comes from.
Melisa: Oh. Thanks?
Turns out, both of these kids suck at ping pong.
I mean seriously SUCK.
Luckily for Melisa, Diago sucked considerably worse.
Diago: This game sucks anyways.
Melisa: Don’t be a sore loser!
Melisa: Take it like a man! *slaps air*
Diago: What do you think about my house?
Melisa: I love it! It’s perfect.
Diago: Perfect enough for you to live in one day?
Melisa: I think so. One day.
I guess now isn’t the time to tell them that Melisa is never going to live in this house…
I’ll just let you decide what that means.
Rhyan: Hey family, anyone home? No?
Sheila: I’m home! Pet me!
Rhyan: Awh, at least someone wants to greet me.
Rhyan: Party time!
Ella: BOOO! You suck! What are you even wearing?
Rhyan: Is this chick serious? Who even is she?
Someone Alonso works with.
Rudolph: Don’t start this honey. Let’s just go inside and enjoy the party quietly.
Remy: Rhyan’s about to throw hands with this nerd. And to think I almost stayed home.
Rhyan: YOU.
Ella: Me?
Rhyan: Get out.
Ella: No way. I was invited. And the last time I checked, this is public property.
Rhyan: Bla-bla-bla ‘I was invited’ No one cares.
Ella: My friend Alonso will care, dummy.
Rhyan: That’s hilarious! I’m his wife, you country singer looking ass!
Ella: You’re Alonso’s wife? Uh, I didn’t know that.
Rhyan: OBVIOUSLY.
Diago: Why are you looking at me? Shouldn’t you be focused on the birthday boy?
Oh yea.
It’s lucky for a Lemon to eat a lemon on their birthday.
Hurry up and blow out the candles before half of the party goers starve.
Diago: Hello lady, MOVE. That’s my father over there and I need to cheer in his ear for his birthday.
Diago: Oh my god, I’m going to miss it. MOVE YOUR ELBOW.
Looks like Ella got into the party against Rhyan’s will. Speaking of Rhyan, where the heck is she?
Rhyan: HEY NERD! That’s my husband in there and I’m going to miss the sparkles. Move your ass or the next time your house suddenly catches on fire I’m going to watch you burn.
Rhyan: I made it! Am I in the picture?
Alonso: That’s what you’re worried about?
Rhyan: Yay birthday!
Diago: Nice haircut boomer.
Alonso: I’m not a boomer.
Assuming the start of your sims civilization was at the placement of our founder Isaac, you’re still a neanderthal.
Alonso: I do have one of those weird shaped heads.
Rhyan: Look babe! We’re considered eternally faithful now!
Alonso: Hah… yea…
Alonso didn’t get the eternally faithful moodlit with Rhyan. Something tells me he’s been flirting at work a little bit more than I thought. Maybe that’s why Ella was being so defensive.
I’m just going to say what everyone was thinking, my spouses are always better looking then my heir(ess). I’m going to blame that on the fact I never edit the sims born in-game, but when I choose a spouse I either make them from scratch or *slightly* edit their faces to my liking.
Are these dance moves what first attracted Melisa at prom?
Diago: Girls dig my twerking.
Alonso: What if it says we’re not compatible?
Rhyan: Then I guess you will be the oldest bachelor in town.
Alonso: Ha-ha.
Alonso: “Burning hot baby!” That’s almost the top! Pretty good right?
Rhyan: I’d say that’s about a 95%.
Alonso: That’s a definite pass.
Rhyan: Maybe we will be together long enough for you to get the eternally faithful moodlit.
Diago: Mom, watch this!
Diago: YES! I’m the best!
Rhyan: If he’s going to be good at the game, I don’t want to play anymore.
This super weird looking guy is Alannis’ kid. He had serious issues aging up but he finally made it and… yea. This is what we were given.
Diago: Dad?
Alonso: Are you seriously outside of the bar in a sleeping bag?
Diago: It’s 4 AM! Can we go home now or are we going to party here until you die?
They did finally head home, but instead of going to bed like the smart boys in the house, Rhyan decided to delay the inevitable by drinking some coffee and stay up an extra three hours.
Rhyan: I was hoping the end the chapter by passing out on the floor.
Wish: NOT granted. Thanks for reading guys! The next one is a chapter filled with… adventure?? Sand?? Weird adults forcing our heir to find valuable jewels for them?? Maybe even… mummy fights?
Life's Lemons 