You guys remember how I said this chapter was going to be short and mostly picture spam? I was wrong. Like, really wrong. This is a thick one. So strap up.
Margo: Then after all that nonsense, she finally returned the gnome in the middle of the night! The middle of the night! So of course, I could’t prove it was her, for some reason the station didn’t want to run prints on a stolen gnome-
That sounds like a front-pager to me! Get all the dirty details, Alonso. The public loves a good gnome theft.
Will you STOP DOING THAT?
Rhyan: Doing what?
It’s adding days onto your life, and it’s against the rules!
Rhyan: Rules? As if you ever play using those.
Rhyan: Work you stupid thing! My weddings this evening. How am I supposed to put out any impeding fires-if-you-wont-WORK!
Just leave it, I’ll put out any fires for you.
Rhyan: I’m not sure I trust you, but what choice do I have?
Words of wisdom.
Rhyan: While mommy and daddy get married, you’re going to hang out in the pool bar, okay sweetie?
Diago: Yay!
So… yes, they’re getting married at the casino. And… yes. I picked their attire taking that into consideration. If only a fake Elvis could read their vows off to them, then it would be perfect.
Rhyan: All the guests are here and it’s about to get dark. Can we get married now?
Uh… oh no.
Rhyan: What does that mean?
Alaric: Problems, sister? MUAHAHAHA-
Alonso: Can you shut him up?
Rhyan: Oh my god Alaric, go steal some cars or something.
After I went to all the trouble of sitting up a beautiful ceremony…
These two idiots would reset every time I tried to make them use the arch. And even worse, they wouldn’t elope on the lot. Even if I deleted the arch they glitched out.
FUUU! Weddings in this game make me lose my shit.
So, what was I to do? Walk them off the lot to get married in the dark. Because I’m not going through the pain of setting this shit up again.
Alonso: It’s almost as if I have my sunglasses on.
Oh shut up.
Rhyan: That was nice I guess.
Alonso: At least we got all the nice pictures.
That’s a way to look at it.
The newleyweds then made their way to the casino, in which all their guests had left, to celebrate by themselves.
Bartender: Sorry ma’am but it’s closing time.
Alonso: But I just got on 😦
I got one more really adorable picture of them by the water fountain before they went home.
And that was a TOTAL disaster, but the good news is we aren’t even half way through the chapter yet! So there’s even more room for failure, yay!
Speaking of failure, I didn’t get one picture of the little guy with his parents at the wedding. I really dropped the ball on that one.
Harry: You can say that again. How many years have you been playing this game?
Don’t even go there with me, old man.
And so they blew out the candles… and Rhyan was there, I promise. See her little sliver of body in the picture?
Rhyan: I’m not even important enough to photograph at parties now.
And here he is! Diago grew up with the Diva trait and his mother’s perpetually confused face.
Diago: 😦
Don’t worry, she grew out of it.
The family took a quick cake break before the next birthday.
I suppose the mud baths can only delay the inevitable for so long.
Rhyan: I wish for eternal youth!
*BEEP* Overlord has denied request.
Rhyan: God damnit.
Rhyan: It smells like garbage in here.
That’s because you never clean anything up.
Rhyan: It’s my birthday can you stop nagging me?
I guess Rhyan wasn’t the only one being nagged.
Diago: I NEED it dad!
Alonso: I don’t make the rules around here! You can ask the lady in the sky, but I already know what the answer is going to be.
Diago: What kind of dad are you? You can’t even let me have a disco room with a DJ booth sound booth to record my album. Your ONLY CHILD.
Yea, that’s not happening. I’m way too lazy to build that shit.
Diago: I’m not angry, just disappointed.
Alonso: 😦
You look a little too cheerful for a kid who just yelled at their father for not having a recording studio built into their house.
Diago: Oh that? I decided I have bigger and better ideas.
Go to bed, will ya?
Diago: What if there are monsters under the bed?
Any monster who chooses that as his hiding spot has terrible taste.
I guess these two made up.
Diago: Dad bet he could reel in a big one before 9 am.
Alonso: That’s right son, you just wait. I feel one biting right now.
Alonso: And… oh.
Diago: Is that even a fish?
So what did he bet you?
Diago: Just that he would get me dog.
HE WHAT? I didn’t decide on this!
You better tell that kid I’m not buying him a dog. I don’t care how cute he is.
Alonso: A bet is a bet! No take backs.
One minute he wants to be a singer. The next he wants to be a scuba diver. This kid…
Alonso: Hey babe, I might have promised Diago I would get him a puppy.
Rhyan: Funny joke. What are you, an idiot?
Alonso: Awh babe, lighten up! Puppies are fun!
Rhyan: Don’t splash me shit head! Puppies are not just fun! They’re work too! God, how old are you?
Alonso: Okay! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Don’t splash me in the eyes! But…
Rhyan: But what??
No take backs?
Alonso: Yea, that.
Rhyan: If you beat me in rock paper scissors in the tree house, we can get the dog.
Alonso: I’ve got this one in the bag.
I don’t think they’re playing rock paper scissors up there.
Love must be in the air today.
Diago: Hi aunt Elise! I’m your nephew, Diago!
Elise: Hello tiny little bean boy. Who are you again?
Remy: That’s Rhyan’s kid. Rhyan and Alonso?
Diago: Are you going to a renaissance fair? I like your outfit.
Elise: A renaissance fair? What is that? Are you trying to steal my dress.
Remy: Oh here we go.
Diago: What? I’m not a thief!
Elise: Your father sure was! A person thief! He stole women from all over town! Seducing and leaving broken hearts all on his path!
That’s… a little accurate?
Remy: Okay, that’s enough of that. Run along, Diago. Your aunt isn’t… well.
Diago: That’s a way to put it. Your nuts lady! Peace out!
Diago: Are you hiding in the bathroom too?
Kid: Uh, nope. Just had to take a wiz.
Diago: I just thought… because of your unfortunate hair situation.. you know.
Diago: Oh cool it’s fixed! Like magic!
Kid: I thought I was doomed to ugliness for sure! How did you do that?
Diago: The woman in the sky did it! She can be cool sometimes.
Kid: I’m starting to understand why you might be hiding in the bathroom…
Rhyan: Look at that one!
Alonso: It’s nice. But that one over there is way bigger.
Rhyan: Matter of opinion, I suppose.
Alonso: Did you notice that we match now?
Rhyan: Not only each other, but the house too. Seems like the overlord has a particular taste.
Awh man, do not! That was an accident.
He shoots, he-
Rhyan: Uh, close one buddy. You’ll get better!
*THUD*
Diago: AH, right on my toe. Seriously? I’m never going to be a pro basketball player.
Diago: But I could be an astronaut.
The joys of childhood. Going from dreams of being a pro basketball player to an astronaut in the span of a few minutes.
It’s unbelievable, but Alonso just completed his LTW when he made this last friend! The LTW Super Popular is really easy when your charisma is high enough.
Rhyan: Wanna spin, astronaut?
Diago: The real question is, do you?
Rhyan: Bring it.
Rhyan: Don’t bring it that hard!
Diago: First my toe, now my butt. With all of these injuries I’m going to have to get a desk job.
Diago spotted the same kid he met at the park the other day. I guess he didn’t think Diago was that crazy after all.
Or maybe he just didn’t recognize who he was under the astronaut costume.
Luckily, these two didn’t suffer the same fate. Two falls on the old rump might mean broken bones for this old lady.
And Diago did get his wish after all. This is Sheila, our new tiny dog.
Alonso: OMG you’re the cutest thing that ever existed! Just remember your mommy didn’t want you, which means I’ll be the favorite.
So much for not wanting him.
Rhyan: Don’t pan your stupid camera over to me.
Sheila: Ruf?
Diago: Homework before I can play with my puppy? You’re such a tyrant.
Sorry kid, that’s just the way it goes. I wouldn’t worry, Sheila is very well taken care of.
I’ll leave you guys with this picture of Rhyan.
Rhyan: I didn’t see ANYTHING.
Sure you didn’t. Thanks for sticking around until the end of this huge chapter! I hope it was fun to read! Until next time.
Life's Lemons 