Generation 6. We made it past the midpoint. How many years has it been? I’m a little afraid to look.
Poor Remy can’t even sleep peacefully in her own room. Her father has now taken to sneaking in at the wee hours of the morning to partake in online chat rooms and listening to smooth jazz Christmas music.
Remy: You couldn’t at least wear headphones dad?
Harry: I don’t want to hear it from you, young lady. You’re still grounded.
Speaking of room thieves.
Rhyan: I’m trying to sleep here. Who even put this TV in? Electronics melt your brain.
Alaric: Okay grandma. Don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m leaving right after this episode is over.
I think I decorated this room before Rhyan rolled the technophobe trait. If not, maybe I put this sick setup in her room just to annoy her.
It was probably the latter.
This picture is so empty. I need to download some new decor items.
First day on the job. Hows it going so far?
Rhyan: Considering I’ve never held a wrench in my entire life? Pretty shit.
Rhyan: Also, aren’t firetrucks supposed to be red?
After upgrading all she could stand, there was only one thing left to do.
Rhyan: A long, hard first day on the job.
Yep, nothing but hard work in sight.
Playing soccer and tinkering with bathtubs. I can’t say this is what I expected.
But then…
FIRE! GOGOGO! Time to save people from burning buildings!
Just kidding.
Rhyan: Is this damn thing broken or what?
Malfunctioning hardware. This might be why they want you to tinker with it daily.
And HEY! A new coworker. And this guy is cute.
Real cute. So cute Rhyan followed him into the locker room to introduce herself.
Rhyan: I don’t think it counts when you’re forced.
But he is cute right?
Rhyan: Get rid of the glasses and earrings and I’ll let you know.
And I oop.
Rhyan: Real cute.
Alonso: Can’t say I haven’t heard that before, but not usually in first introduction.
Now back to the family home where… Elise finally completed her LTW! Or at least I think that’s why I took this screenshot.
Elise: Yay for waiting 4 months after playing the game to write a chapter!
Remy: Whats it like working for Alana Kahale? Are you stealing any jewels yet?
Alaric: Jewels? Uh…
*Flashback to last night when Alaric tricked this poor, unsuspecting lady into letting him into her home to steal her flat screen TV*
Rhyan: Something is seriously wrong with that ice cream machine.
Yea, the gunk is so thick that it will never wash out. I think it’s time to get rid of that thing.
Willow has decided that she is now a fitness expert, and has taken her eldest under her wing.
Willow: How are you even running with that stuffed in your buttcrack like that?
And later found herself back at the casino to… well, I don’t think this is considered gambling. Unless you think this is gambling with her life.
Rhyan might not have attended university, but she is quickly realizing that team projects never work out they way you want.
Oh shit, it’s happening!
All of the inhabitants have somehow escaped this obviously deadly fire.
Rhyan: If there’s no one to save, do I even want to go?
Imagine a world where the fire department lets your house burn down because no human life will be lost.
Rhyan: That’s why the truck is yellow. I’m the life saver truck. The red truck is the put-out-fire truck. And it’s driven by those idiots playing video games back at the department.
Rhyan: EHHH- I should have been a pro football player.
After a terrible day at work Rhyan couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Rhyan: Will you STOP WATCHING TV AND DO SOMETHING?
Alonso: Pipe down lady, who are you my mom?
Rhyan: You wont be such a little bitch when you die of brain cancer from that stupid people maker machine.
Alonso: Are you still mad about the fire this morning? That’s a ONE PERSON fire truck, lady. The game code wont LET ME GO.
Rhyan: You mean your brain code wont let you go, you stupid potato skin.
Meanwhile Remy patiently waited for her sister to finish with work.
Remy: This building is so bland. It needs a little spice, don’t you think?
I’m not sure the portrait is really fitting, but what do I know.
Alaric’s car thieving days have stalled since taking this new job.
Alaric: It’s hard to choose between your hobby and your job, but at least the end goal is attained either way.
And whats that?
Alaric: EVILLLL!
So does this mean you guys are over your argument last night?
Alonso: A shoot out is the only way to settle our differences.
Looks like a total miss.
Oh, and a concussion.
Alonso: My brain is straight up leaking out of my ears right now.
Rhyan: She shoots, she scores!
Rhyan: You know, that brain leak is probably caused by all of the shitty electronics you let near your brain and not that post you just broke your skull over.
Alonso: Lets just agree to disagree on this one.
Rhyan: Agree that I’m right and you’re lucky to be alive, nerd.
Rhyan: What an interesting place to hang that.
You never know when you might need to break a door down.
Remy: Must… PAINT!
Remy: I can see into the next dimension through here.
What’s happening?
Remy: It’s a girl in her PJs in front of a huge PC setup. She’s listening to jazz Christmas music and-
OKAY that’s enough. To bed with you.
Elise: That was my boyfriend, looks like I’m moving out!
You don’t have a boyfriend?
Elise: Says you stupid head. You’ve been spending too much time at the fire department with ugly face.
Elise now lives in this cute little house that Rhyan saved from sudden death by fire.
Rhyan: No regrets there. Finally all of the annoying family members are gone.
Oh yes, ALL of the annoying family members are gone.
Alaric: …
Just not all the useless ones.
Alaric: Yep, was just waiting for it.
Rhyan’s job has taken a turn for the weird, with fire fighting being replaced with… gnome hustling?
Rhyan: Get in the damn bag you stupid bearded piece of plastic.
Gnome: Good luck you red lassie!
She’s finally hit it. Rock bottom that is.
Alonso: Do you ever forget you’re a firefighter? Sometimes it just slips my mind.
Rhyan: That’s because you somehow get paid to play video games and soccer all day.
Rhyan: While you’re here dancing the day away in your swim trunks, I’ll be out there saving citizens from fires and total gnome destruction.
Alonso: Is there a muscle under that pale ass skin? Looks like dry bone to me.
Rhyan: Maybe one day you’ll reach my physical prowess.
Alonso: One can only dream to be like you, Goddess Rhyan.
Rhyan: I wouldn’t go that far buddy.
Alonso: Me neither. You have a big head. And sometimes you’re annoying
Sometimes?
Rhyan: I respect your honesty. But you ALSO have a big head. Way bigger than mine.
Alonso: It’s my hair 
What the hell happened to the big head insults?
Alonso: We’re adults, not children. I don’t hold a grudge.
Nice face smash.
So this is what happens when you’re single and spending too much time with your coworkers.
Rhyan: Cool house party. No one showing up really makes the room look larger.
Elise: This is Alannis’ party. I don’t even live here idiot!
Rhyan: Calm down crazytown. We don’t want your scary hand coming out, now do we.
Harry: Can you ladies take this out of the kitchen?
Elise: You are such a thumbtack.
Rhyan: Are you.. WHAT?
Rhyan: I’ll show you a thumbtack you nutty bitch.
Elise: *Face ready for impact*
Harry: Looks like we’re never getting invited to Alannis’ again.
Rhyan: How did that feel?
Elise: Like a thumbtack straight up my ass!
Rhyan: I hope you get hemorrhoids.
Elise: I heard who your little boyfriend is. I hope you know he sleeps with everything that walks!
Rhyan: I don’t have a boyfriend! And what do you know anyways.
Elise: Gawd, be that way then. I just thought I would let you know that you’re dating a hoe.
Rhyan: That’s not true.
Elise: Believe it or not. You’ll learn soon enough.
Harry: You haven’t seen your sister in weeks and all you can be is mean. When are you going to grow up?
Willow: She gets it from her mother 🙂
Rhyan: DAD. She called my boyfrien- FRIEND a HOE.
Willow: Don’t get in the middle, Harry. Sibling rivalries are healthy!
You would know all about that wouldn’t you?
Willow: That was an accident.
Rhyan: Is my boyfriend a hoe?
I cannot confirm nor deny Alonso’s hoeish tendencies. But I can say I can’t wait to see how this is going to work out.
And that’s the end of this chapter folks! Hope you come back for more on the next episode of “Is my boyfriend a hoe?”
Life's Lemons 