Hello friends and welcome to the last chapter before the heir poll!! I said I wanted to finish this generation before the new year… I’m only 2 months late.
Let’s jump into it.
Remy: I’m not jumping anywhere but into this rocking chair.
Don’t worry your little soul, I’m not going to make you do anything.
Instead I’ll send your mother to visit the in-laws.
Willow: So I got a call the other day from a total stranger who let me know that you’re about to die soon.
Natasha: Excuse me?
Willow: So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me predict your future before you go.
Natasha: You really are a terrible person aren’t you.
Natasha: I’m going to have to say no to that.
Willow: WHY DID YOU SEND ME HERE.
So you could listen to your elderly brother play the guitar, of course!
It also seems like Zack’s entire family hates their house. Anytime I scroll by then they’re all standing around in the extremely small front yard. I can only assume that this means there is some sort of wild animal infestation in their house.
Alannis: What a beautiful day to go fishing.
Alannis: The sun is out, not a cloud in the sky…
Alannis: Oh yea right, that’s not what it’s like outside at all. Why am I being forced to fish in the rain?
Because you go to a high school where extra credit entails bringing a live fish to your professor.
Alannis isn’t the only Lemon child being forced into the rain for school.
Alaric: It’s a wonderful life we live.
Alaric: FATHER HURRY OPEN THE DOOR THERE’S A CRIMINAL OUTSIDE!
Excuse me Burton, aren’t you supposed to be at prom with Elise?
AHAHA! Never mind, Elise didn’t make it into the building.
Elise: CURSED EVIL RAIN!
Elise: Who needs prom or boys. Homework is where it’s at.
Apparently your brother thinks the same thing.
Remy: No, he’s just a loser.
Alaric: REMY GET OUT OF MY ROOM YOU LITTLE-
What even goes on in this house. Honestly.
Prisha: Family get together!
Elise: Ew! No, get out!
One of Harry’s chess opponents is a Lemon! One of Sylvia’s grand kids I think.
Look at how smart this family is, building their charisma and such!
Alannis: Woa there partner, I wouldn’t go that far!
Rhyan: As you can see, neither of us have placed a domino yet.
Alannis: Gotta find the perfect piece, ya know?
*The next day*
Waylon: Well that was fun! Time for work, I’ll see you guys later!
Harry: We didn’t even play!
It took many tries to get Waylon to actually play a game of chess.
Harry: Scardy-cat.
Alaric: Dad? Hello? Anyone in there?
Harry: … check mate. CHECK MATE!
Alaric: Dad, I bought you this gift!
Stop talking to him like he has Alzheimers.
Alaric: But has he actually been checked?
Harry: For me?
Alaric: Yea daddy! Open it!
Harry: … this is a doctors appointment card.
Alaric: You’re welcome! Go get help. Seriously.
For you guys’ information, only evil bastards do the laundry.
Alaric: Stop following me.
I don’t have anything to say about these, they’re just cute.
Harry: I never spoke to my doctor about needing a back brace.
Is that a telemarketer, or does Harry actually have early onset Alzheimers? You decide.
Alannis: Why am I so tired all the time? Why do I sleep at night, go to school, come home and take a nap, and still wake up tired?
WELCOME TO TEENAGEHOOD! Hah, just kidding. I am no longer a teenager and this is still my life.
Willow: Bought a new outfit today, what do you think?
Are you actually working or do you leave to do crack for 8 hours a day?
Stay Cat: Meow.
OMG! I want it. Should I get the fam a cat? They haven’t had a pet in generations.
Remy: Are you sure you’re up for tag, dad? You look pretty tired?
Harry: What do you mean? *Gasps* Your father’s in tip-top shape!
Remy: Whatever you say dad.
Remy: You’re it!
Harry: Maybe I should call them about that back brace.
Willow: I already know what you’re going to say. Standing inside of the furniture gives me extra confidence, so please exit the premise.
Ran out of there so quickly that it’s a whole new day!
And everyone was sent to a house party being thrown by some long distance Lemon relative!
Willow: How exactly does a clown costume match my police costume??
Harry: When did we have a conversation about matching costumes?
Willow: That’s it. You’re going to get checked.
Elise: Can we talk about something else other than dad’s mental deterioration?
Alaric: Alrighty girls, now this is a house.
Remy: Wow a house!
Rhyan: You have got to be kidding me.
Alaric: And in this house lives a hot dog! What a wonderful surprise!
Alaric: The old wives tale goes that if you trick or treat from a hot dog on Halloween night that she will give you cash cash money.
Hot Dog Lady: Good try kid. Here’s a lollypop.
Remy: A lollypop? Holy cow!
Ahahaha, cow puns. I love it.
Remy: This is the best night of my life! I love you Alaric!
Remy: This is the best candy ever!
Hot Dog Lady: I dug that out of the couch cushions.
Rhyan: Couch cushion candy?! ME NEXT!
Alannis: Burton? This is awkward. Aren’t you supposed to be meeting my sister?
Please explain how you ended up at your girlfriend’s house without her, in a hot dog suit.
Burton: Trick or treat, duh!
Alannis: ….
Alannis: You guys are perfect for each other.
Harry: I think we’re missing some children.
Willow: Well househusband, I think that’s your responsibility.
Rhyan: What a bust, that wasn’t scary at all.
Oh really?
Rhyan: No.. not at-
AHAHAHAH
Rhyan: Listen man, that was just from the couch candy I ate earlier.
THESE TWO CUTIES!
Remy: Seriously?
Remy: It’s so small. I think I’m going to just throw it back.
Well don’t say that too loud, your sister seems pretty proud.
Alannis: LOOK AT THIS BAD BOY! Look Remy! What a catch!
Remy: Yes, what a catch.
Alannis: Apple bobbing? Am I invited?
Alannis: I’m STARVING guys, can I please play?
Alannis: I guess I’ll just die.
Ohhhh oops. I did not forget about you and leave you to sleep on a park bench.
Alaric: I guess that was some other overlord?
It’s going to be super awkward if you can’t get into the club you invited a girl to.
Alaric: Don’t worry, I got this. You ever heard of Lincoln Lemons?
So we’ve turned to name dropping long dead relatives.
Alaric DID get into the club. But his date never arrived. We will call this one a bust. Better luck next time!
Remy: DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES.
Rhyan: Good joke sis.
Remy: No seriously, I just saved you from a serious mental breakdown.
Rhyan: I wish for another house fire!
Better luck next time, asshole. We’re FIREPROOF.
Rhyan: Damnit! Birthday ruined!
BAM! I present Remy Lemons. She rolled Avant Garde as her teen trait.
Rhyan: STARVING!
And Rhyan! She rolled Loner.
And we’re done with this chapter! Yay! And it’s time for the heir poll! Do you guys know who you’re voting for? I hope you do!
Life's Lemons 